On 15 August, a group of Scotland-based intercultural practitioners met in Stirling for the first face-to-face gathering of what we hope will become a growing SIETAR UK network in Scotland.
Stirling is perhaps best known for battles, bravery, and a certain blue-painted Hollywood interpretation of Scottish history. Interestingly, our gathering involved conversations about some of those things (excluding the blue-paint) – particularly focusing on the known battle in intercultural communication that demands bravery: how to stay calm, curious, and constructive when an intercultural encounter suddenly becomes difficult.
How do we gain perspective in the middle of a difficult intercultural encounter?
Many intercultural frameworks help us reflect after an intercultural encounter. Models such as the D.I.E. (Describe, Interpret, Evaluate; 1) approach encourage us to separate observation from interpretation and judgement. Similarly, the 3R model (2) helps us revisit an experience, consider alternative explanations, and develop a revised response for future situations. Such tools are valuable because they enable us to learn from misunderstandings, challenge assumptions, and develop greater intercultural competence over time.
Yet these models often begin once the encounter is over.
What happens in the actual moment when emotions begin to rise?
Most interculturalists can probably recall situations in which a conversation unexpectedly became emotionally charged. Perhaps a comment touched on deeply held values around gender, religion, identity, authority, or family expectations. Perhaps a misunderstanding led to frustration, embarrassment, defensiveness, or anxiety. In these moments, our ability to stay curious, nonjudgemental and calm often disappears precisely when we need it most.
The challenge is not simply understanding cultural differences. The challenge is remaining present enough to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically.
How to “pause”?
Our discussion in Stirling led us beyond traditional intercultural tools and into approaches more commonly associated with wellbeing, counselling, and therapeutic practice. Research on mindfulness suggests that creating even a small pause between stimulus and response can help us regulate emotions and make more intentional choices (3). However, mindfulness can sometimes sound abstract when tensions are running high. We therefore focused on practical techniques that can be used in the moment.
- Breath. Not a cursory breath, but a deliberate, slower breath that reaches deep into the abdomen. When we are stressed or threatened, our breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. Consciously slowing it down can help signal safety to the nervous system and create a momentary interruption to escalating emotional reactions. While the other person’s words may not change, our capacity to hear them often does.
- Grounding through the body. Several participants spoke about the value of consciously feeling their body – e.g., their feet on the ground. By noticing physical contact with the floor, the distribution of weight, or the stability of one’s posture, attention shifts away from spiralling thoughts and back to the present moment. This technique is frequently used with people experiencing anxiety or overwhelment, but it may be equally relevant for intercultural encounters. Feeling physically grounded can help us remain psychologically grounded too.
- 5-4-3-2-1 sensory method. A third approach could be the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding (4) technique, often used in mindfulness and wellbeing practice. The method invites one to consciously notice five things we can see, four things we can feel, three things we can hear, two things we can smell, and one thing we can taste. By directing attention to immediate sensory experience, it can help interrupt escalating emotional reactions and bring us back into the present moment. Like deliberate breathing or feeling our feet firmly on the ground, it offers a practical way to create a pause, regain perspective, and return to an intercultural encounter with greater curiosity and openness.
A note
Similar and other ideas can also be found in one of our Scottish interculturalists recent book (5).
Finally, one participant emphasised that these techniques are most effective when practised regularly during calm moments, making them easier to access and apply confidently when they are needed most.
Taken Together
Neither breathing nor grounding provides an instant solution to an intercultural disagreement due to communication and/or value differences. Yet what they can do is create a small but important pause, a space that allows curiosity to remain present when our first impulse may be to defend ourselves, withdraw, or judge.
As intercultural practitioners, we spend much of our time helping others bridge differences. Our gathering in Stirling reminded us that this work begins not only with understanding other cultures, but also with understanding our own reactions.
Perhaps that is a different kind of bravery than the one often celebrated in Scotland’s history. In intercultural encounters, courage is not always about holding your ground or proving your point. Sometimes it means staying present in a moment of discomfort, suspending judgement long enough to become curious, and remaining open to the possibility that our first interpretation may not be the only one.
If you are based in Scotland and interested in intercultural learning, research, or practice, we would be delighted to hear from you through SIETAR UK.
List of References
- Bennett, J. (2015). Description, interpretation, evaluation. In The SAGE encyclopedia of intercultural competence (Vol. 2, pp. 221-222). SAGE Publications, Inc., https://doi.org/10.4135/9781483346267.n80
- Spencer-Oatey, H. & Davidson, A. (2018). The 3R Reflect Tool: Developing Evaluation Sensitivity in Intercultural Encounters. V.2. www.warwick.ac.uk/globalknowledge
- Schuman-Olivier, Z., Trombka, M., Lovas, D. A., Brewer, J. A., Vago, D. R., Gawande, R., Dunne, J. P., Lazar, S. W., Loucks, E. B., & Fulwiler, C. (2020). Mindfulness and Behavior Change. Harvard review of psychiatry, 28(6), 371–394. https://doi.org/10.1097/HRP.0000000000000277
- NHS 24 (2026). Grounding exercises www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/breathing-and-relaxation-exercises/grounding-exercises/
- Lucy Butters (2025). Cultural Intelligence in Practice: Expert insights for trainers in a multicultural, globalised world. Right Book Press https://www.crossculturalcatalysts.com/
About the author:
Dr Katharina Addington-Lefringhausen is an Associate Professor at the Department of Psychology at Heriot-Watt University, Scotland. Her research focuses on majority members’ acculturation towards minority (e.g. immigrants) cultures. Katharina has been a board member of SUK since 2018 and is currently acting as Director of Community Relations as well as co-lead of the SIG Migration at SIETAR Europa.
About Lucy Butters – Scotland-based interculturalist and SUK member:
Lucy Butters is a Master Facilitator in Cultural Intelligence (CQ), one of only ten worldwide, a CQ Fellow, and the author of Cultural Intelligence in Practice. She is the founder of Elembee Ltd, providing training and coaching to support leadership, international effectiveness, and inclusion across sectors including higher education, healthcare, banking, and engineering. Previously with the British Council in international cultural relations, Lucy now also works to develop CQ capability among trainers and facilitators and is co-launching the global facilitator network Cross Cultural Catalysts in 2026.
About Grace Doris – Aberdeen-based intercultural coach and counsellor
Grace is an intercultural coach and also a counsellor based in Aberdeen. She has provided intercultural coaching for international assignees in various industries over the last 16 years. Alongside her coaching work, Grace is also a counsellor specialising in the treatment of trauma, and is experienced in working with a diverse range of clients.
